Cinderella: Goddess of Thunder

A grandfather opened a storybook and began reading to his granddaughter, “A long time ago, in a land far away there lived a young girl, Ella. She was the apple of her father’s eye and the two had many grand adventures together. As Ella grew older her father wanted her to experience life with a mother, since Ella’s mother had passed a few months after Ella had been born.

“The father came home from a long trip to the country bringing home his new bride, who already had two young girls of her own, both not much older than Ella. Within weeks tragedy struck and the father passed away. Ella could not be consoled and the step-mother had her dragged to the attic.

“Ella found that her new mother was cruel and her new step-sisters equally as cruel. Ella became a servant in her new home. She would spend many nights with tears in her eyes staring at the fire thinking of her father. The soot stained her clothes and skin and her long blond hair. Her step-sisters started calling her Cinderella.”

The granddaughter interrupted the story, “Bobo, this is boring!”

“Is it? Well what would you change?” The young girl’s grandfather asked.

“Here, let me take over.” The girl snatched the book.

“Oh and can you read that?”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you the true story of Cinderella!”

The girl began narrating the story.

#

There was a boring king who had a son, who I guess needed a wife. I asked mommy about why and she said it was a dumb custom they had back then. Well in order to get the lazy son married, the king held a ball asking every eligible girl to come.

Well the nasty step-sisters and step-mom gave Cinderella so much work she didn’t get to go. But while at the ball a giant flying wyrm swooped down and ate many of the maidens, including the nasty step-mom and step-sisters. The mean ol’ dragon kept the king and prince hostage. They couldn’t go out to keep the kingdom in order and chaos was everywhere!

Cinderella went to the old tree near where her mother rested. While she was a little happy she no longer had a nasty step-mother and step-sisters, she was sad that everything around her was terrible.

Then something magical happened! An old man with one eye came out from within the tree and said. “I am the old god, Woden. You have a good heart and you will be rewarded.”

Cinderella didn’t know what to say.

The really old man was full of mirth and joy and said, “Cinderella, I grant you the powers of Thor. You are now the Goddess of Thunder. Go free the kingdom.”
He handed her the giant hammer, Mjölnir and vanished. Once she gripped the hammer she found herself in glamorous armor without sleeves to show off her sexy muscular arms and she had a magnificent cape! (A purple cape as that is my favorite color).

She flew right away to the castle and challenged the mean dragon. A few slaps with her hammer the dragon was slain and the kingdom was free! The prince asked her to be his wife, but she turned him down. She didn’t want no lazy prince. Instead she traveled the world protecting people from mean ol’ nasty things.

The end!

#

The grandfather looked down at his granddaughter, who was quite pleased with her story, and said, “I think your parents let you watch too many Marvel movies.”

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