Burgers and Pebbles

Steve looked across the table at his date. She wasn’t very tall, a bit on the bigger side which he liked and her face was nondescript. She seemed a bit shy but he suspected this was a ploy to hide a deep dark secret. A secret he was determined to uncover by asking the most boring questions known to women. They were the same questions every guy asks on a first date.

Steve thought he had Peggie figured out. She liked to read and her favorite novel was Pride & Prejudice. Her favorite movie was Gremlins, and her favorite band was Black Sabbath. She also loved the color blue. A typical woman to be sure.

Continuing his quest of finding the most boring question he asked, “So, what do you do for a living?”

She looked him directly in the eyes and said, “I am a professional pebble thrower.”

He choked on his soda. “What now?”

“I’m a professional pebble thrower. In fact, I am the world champion.”

He looked at his half-eaten burger debating whether he should leave this loon with the check or stay and hear her out. His stomach decided for him. He picked up his burger for another bite and asked, “So, do you make a good living doing that?”

“Not bad, about two hundred k a year.”

A piece of his half-chewed burger caught in his throat. He started coughing violently until it dislodged. He snatched his soda and began gulping down the liquid trying to sooth the soreness.

“Oh my bananas! Are you okay?” Peggie asked.

Steve coughed a few more times before responding in a scratchy voice, “I’m okay.”

After making sure he was okay Peggie returned to eating her own sandwich. She took big bites and chewed slowly, her giant eyes watched as he sat there not saying a word. She placed down her sandwich and asked, “a bit much?”

“So you toss pebbles around and people pay you two hundred thousand for that?”

She nodded. “Yup. It’s a real head-splitting sport.”

“You’re putting me on.”

“Nope, deadly serious.” She sucked on her soda.

Steve shook his head and laughed, “Well that’s cool. Best I’ve ever done is come in second in the 200-yard dash, when I was eleven.”

“You seem nice.” She said leaning over to get a better look at him.

The whole floor buckled as a loud boom sounded. The door to the restaurant exploded inwards as a large creature burst through. The monster looked at Peggie and roared; it started charging towards them. Steve watched as she deftly drew a pouch from her pocket and took out a smooth blue pebble. In less than a second, the little stone punched through the creature’s head with a spray of black blood. The monster collapsed to the floor sliding across the slick surface to Peggie’s feet.

She looked over at Steve with a huge grin and said, “that never gets old.”

Steve tried to speak but only managed to squeak out a few incomprehensible words. He took a deep breath and managed to utter, “You really are the world champion pebble thrower.”

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